problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
