Don't you send me to vm
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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