The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
