His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im having a threesome with these popsicles
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
