I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
