You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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