U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you traded sex for a burrito?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He did a backflip because drugs
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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