dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize