Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
