I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
