and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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