What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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