fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
