You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
