Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
