I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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