Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
