I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
