I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
