D3 body, D1 cock
We're like a lot better than the average bears
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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