mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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