I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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