dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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