Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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