Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
