If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
