In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
