I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
