we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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