Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
