So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
