Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
