I puked a lego.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
