dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
