i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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