On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
