was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
