There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
