I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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