Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
