Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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