My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
