My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
