It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
