I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
