My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
