he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
