The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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