I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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