your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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