The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
