id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
