I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
3pm strippers are depressing
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
