Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
